Sunday, April 17, 2016

Day 3: Big Day Today!

Family photos. But, wait! I titled this "Big Day Today!" --- for the 20 people who clicked on this, please hear me out. I hate having my photo taken. I hate nearly ever photo of myself. Sure, hate is a strong word but it is incredibly accurate. What I hate even more though is not having any family photos because of this "fear" so, today, I am putting my big girl pants on and making this happen!

Our family has been through a lot in the last seven+ years and at this particular moment we are in a decent place. The years leading up to creating a family were filled with my fair share of health adversity. I became tired. Really, really tired. I would have stomach pain which I would often choose to ignore.... Then, the pain became unbearable. At the ER, my white blood count was off the charts and I was prepped for surgery. Before I made it to the ER, I collapsed. My intestine ruptured. Turns out, I had tumours. Lots and lots of tumours. That was in May of that year. In August that same year, I was stopped at a red light. The truck behind me did not. I broke my neck. These 3 months changed the rest of my life. I continued extensive medical care and procedures for years... Leading up to the last seven. At 32 weeks pregnant, I had a severe placental abruption. I started to crash en route to hospital so was then transported by advanced life support. The bleeding was able to be controlled quickly but we didn't if our pregnancy was viable (we were fortunate and with a team of 13 at his delivery he is now 6 years old). This same child then experience so health adversity of his own. He had a protein intolerance where prognosis is varied but, generally, not good (horrifyingly not good). This isn't meant to depressing so I will stop there and may share more later; this is just our reality. These circumstances can also test a marriage. It's been tough. Really tough. I think you are starting to get the picture.

I didn't think we'd make it. I gave up. I checked out. I started to figure out how to move on. There's a theme there, though: "I", "I" "I" and that is not what makes a family. So, today, I am embracing our family and celebrating, appreciating and savouring who we are here and now: today is in fact a big day.